India during Diwali is a sight to behold. All of a sudden, for these 5-7 pious days, the city is filled with well intentioned, god trusting and sensitive people. People start believing in being nice to people they know, start inviting them to their houses; hell even the maids start behaving nicely – you know that when they start sweeping the corners they had long ignored.
As a guy who is oblivious to the ways of the world, I was quite intrigued. Until I found out, according to some pre-written law, Diwali is the time of the year when all your asshollery of the year can be forgotten and you can be blessed with untold wealth only if you do the following:
- Shower gifts of sweets, cutlery and dry fruits on your near and dear ones. Of course they are expected to revert with gifts of similar or more value
- Pray to Laxmi devi and light some Divas in your shop/house – no matter how many unfortunate souls you squeezed off during the year
- Observe a whole lot of social customs which don’t make an iota of sense only so that the uncle who only met you once your whole lifetime, doesn’t take offence
- You fast for 2 days (not eat chicken) so that your soul is purified of the sins committed by you between Navratri and Diwali
Indians surely are a bunch of strange people. They have long started to subscribe to the belief that their sins can be washed off by just 2-3 days of good behaviour. As if fasting and not eating Non-veg on a Tuesday will absolve them of the sin of mistreating their fellow human beings on a daily basis. Just travelling 400 kms in an AC bus to visit a temple will make GOD forget the times when you lied to your family. Diwali is that time when these behaviours are legalized as customs.
So get our your Soan Papdis for your neighbours and those dry fruits for your unknown uncle. You only have 1 week to call back Goddess Laxmi to you house. What are you gonna do?